Before coming down to do the show, Dave happened to walk by the Late Show Lost and Found. He glanced inside and saw the cutest little thing he just had to bring to the show. He holds up the item: a cute little suit jacket. How adorable. He opens up the jacket and pinned to the inside was the name "T. Cruise." Tom Cruise must have left it here the last time he was on. Hey, Tom, if you're looking for your jacket, we have it!

Donald Trump is going to get a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame. It's a tremendous honor for anyone to get a star, but it looks like this one is going to be particularly special.
Announce:

"In the 46-year history of the Hollywood Walk of Fame, more than 2,000 celebrities have been immortalized in the sidewalks of Los Angeles. And now that we've scraped the bottom of the barrel by giving Donald Trump a star, Hollywood would like to announce that we've officially run out of celebrities. So effect Tuesday, the entertainment industry is shutting down forever. Happy trails, everyone It's been a hell of a ride."

Back from the hose cam, we see our costume designer Sue Hum make an entrance. She is holding a bowl of gazpacho.
Sue: "I have gazpacho."
Dave: "That's nice. Gazpacho. It's the perfect summertime meal."
(Uh oh, that was supposed to be Sue's line. How will she handle it?)
Sue: "I have gazpacho . . . . it's the perfect summertime meal."
Dave: "I know! That's what I just said. Uhh, Sue, I don't want any gazpacho."
Sue: (pause) "Rot in hell." Sue exits.

GEORGE W. BUSH COMEDY CLASSIC: The President at a March 21st press conference. Bush calls on a reporter.
Bush: pointing - "Ken"
Ken and another guy begin to ask a question.
Bush: "No, you're not Ken."
Ken: "Mr. President . . ."
Bush: "You're . . . No, you're not Cannon. That's Cannon. You're Ken."
Cannon: "Thank you, sir."
Ken: "I thought you said 'Ken.'"
Wacky music - George W. Bush Comedy Classic.

Dave met a guy named Doug years ago at Paul's wedding. He was a friend of the bride He now works at BMI; the Bureau of Miscellaneous Information. Often times he will send bits of information that he believes will fit in with our show. And he's right. Dave has a stack of interesting Late Show Fun Facts.
- The "Hundred Years War" lasted 116 years.
- The women of the Tiwi tribe in the South Pacific are married at birth.
- Pogonophobia is the fear of beards.

And now, a CBS NEWS SPECIAL REPORT!
Dave: "I'm being told now that that was a mistake.

- John Wilkes Booth shot Abe Lincoln in Ford's Theater because he wouldn't remove his stovepipe hat.
- All artificial hearts produced after 1990 are dishwasher-safe.
- 23% of Americans believe that Columbus landing in the New World was faked
- Aside from Kryptonite, Superman is also known to have a weakness for pie.
- No one's actually bought anything from Sharper Image in close to a year
- In 1951, Joe Louis lost the heavyweight title to a kangaroo
- In response to complaints, Campbell's Soup has removed the letter 'F' from their alphabet soup
- Scientific studies reveal many similarities between apple and oranges.
- Due to heightened security, box cutters are now sold only to people who can prove they own a box
- Al Jazeera is an Arabic term meaning "The Jazeera."
- In 1763, the 8 deadly sins became the 7 Deadly sins with the elimination of tardiness.
- Houdini's first escape in 1891 was from an undersized sweater vest
- The Canadian alphabet only has 17 letters.

Paul: "There's a reason for that." Dave hears Paul out the corner of his ear and smiles a knowing smile, "the early harvest."

- When the push button telephone was invented, callers could press the star button and hear their horoscope.
- 77% of people who say 'yes' to fresh ground pepper at a restaurant really don't want it
- The first prize ever found in a box of Cracker Jacks was a wad of steel wool.
- Larry King is one of 700 people who survived the Titanic.

And those are some of today's Late Show Fun Facts.

And now, the President and CEO of 7-Eleven, Mr. Jim Keyes. Jim Keyes enters and addresses the audience.
Jim Keyes: "Thanks, Dave. I just want to say again how thrilled 7-Eleven is to be partnered with the Late Show this month. When Dave said on July 11th . . . 7-11 . . . that he'd pay for free Slurpees, hot dogs, and muffins for anyone who came in and said 'Dave sent me,' we weren't sure what would happen. Well, the thing took off like a rocket! When Dave talks, America listens." (He applauds Dave)
"Yes, indeed. It's been a great way to reinforce our brand, and it's been a tremendous hit with the public, especially when Dave added the chance to win a new Hummer H-3. But don't take my word for it . . listen to these satisfied customers."
(roll vt - guy with Slurpee: "I got my free Slurpee! Awesome!"
woman with muffin: "Whoever said 'There's no free lunch' never heard of David Letterman and 7-Eleven!"
buy with hot dog and keys: "The free food is pretty sweet, but not as sweet as hearing that I'd won the drawing for the new Hummer.")
Back LIVE to Jim Keyes: "So keep coming in, folks! We've already given away one brand-new Hummer H-3 in addition to the food, and we're giving away three more before it all wraps up on August 1st. Thanks again, Dave! See you all at 7-Eleven!" The guy gives a bravo shake over his head and exits.
Paul seems confused: "I think I know the answer, but I'll just ask again . . . was that really the President of 7-Eleven?"
Dave looks through his blue cards: "I don't seem to have that information."

SCARLETT JOHANSSON: She's in Woody Allen's new movie, "Scoop." It opens Friday. Her summer has been just fine but it's headed for a bad turn. She needs dental work; possible all 4 wisdom teeth need to be yanked. Her bottoms are impacted. She's putting off what she has to do for as long as she can. Dave asks if he can take a look. She allows, and Dave stands over Scarlett as Dave examines. After the 10-second exam, Scarlett asks, "So what do you think?" Dave answers, "I would like to see you in a month for a cleaning.
Scarlett turned 21 recently. She says on her 20th birthday, she went to Disneyland. And how was her 21st birthday? She wanted to go back to Disney, but her brother convinced her to go to a strip club. Oh, yes, Disneyland for men. She agreed. And she got a lap dance. She didn't know what to say to the dancer and offered an awkward, "So, are you going to school?" and "Is your name really Candie?" Scarlett's lap dance was by a dancer a bit too thin. The dancer's pelvic bone kept digging into some sensitive part of Scarlett's and she developed a bruise. I would suggest to Scarlett to just rest it. I wouldn't go to a doctor and explain how you got it.

PAUL TEUTUL AND PAUL TEUTUL, JR.: They are on the #1 show on the Discovery Channel, "American Chopper." Big Paul tells Dave that it is a pleasure to be here and they love him. Dave says he too loves them . . . and Dave and Paul hug. The Teutuls have a lot going on. Right now they're taking their show on the road and calling it, "OCC in America 2006." This weekend they'll be in Spokane, Washington and are expecting 60,000 people.
They built a bike for Billy Joel (hard for him to keep 4 wheels on the road) and they also did a bike for Bill Murray. He hung around the shop for two straight days. That's usually not a good idea but Bill was very funny and kept everyone in laughs. It was hard to get anything done. Paul Junior says when you get creative people in a room, not much gets done. I know what he means. You should see the writers conference room. Buh dum bum. And they are going to be Pez dispensers. The Pez people have created dispensers in their likeness. Paul says with a great deal of pride that he, Paul Jr., and Mikey are the first people to be on a Pez dispenser that are still alive.
Outside on 53rd Street is Mikey Teutul with the American Choppers new mass produced chopper; the OCC Splitback. It features Viking Handlebars; razor front end, Paul Jr. Chromed Wheels; 6-speed transmission; 135 horsepower to the rear wheel; and it can reach a speed of 120 mph. Sale price: in the $60,000 range. When we return from commercial, Dave will be giving it a spin. We weren't quite ready for this. Once back from commercial we find Dave on the bike. He revs it up and heads west. He waits for the light at 53rd and 8th and then makes the turn north on 8th. We lose sight of him as he rounds the block. Security chased after him like he was a runaway puppy. Back from commercial one last time we find Dave on Broadway in front of the marquee. His trip around the block complete. And thankfully he is safe. My bills will be paid for another month.

And that was our show for Wednesday, July 26, 2006. Wahoo EXTRA!

I read where CD sales have dropped from 942 million in the year 2000 to 705 million today. Illegal downloads and iPods are the main reason. I agree, but what was left out is all the people who are re-buying their favorite albums now on CD. Back in 2000, I'm guessing there were more of us. Now I think we've caught up. We have the old albums we want on CD. No need to buy anymore CDs. Oh, and one more reason there is a drop in CD sales. Today's music stinks.

OH! I Googled "givl" and "djoy" the other day. I was curious. Years ago when I first started writing the Wahoo Gazette, I didn't want to print expletives, but I felt the need to convey exactly what was said on the show at times. I decided to type an expletive in code. I would type to the right of each letter in the word; so an F would be typed as a G. A 'U' would be typed as an 'I'; and so on. So I decided to Google it to see what came up. It popped up in the urban dictionary. Givl and Djoy are accepted words to reference the expletives they represent. Now, I'm not saying I'm the first to use 'givl' and 'djoy' but before I used it, I never saw it used before. I'm going to pretend I invented it until I find out otherwise.
I checked my records and the first time I found my using "givl" was October 7, 1998. The first time I used "djoy" was October 9th, 1998 but it seems I used it before that, too. I'll keep checking to find my first use.

I was listening to some Jefferson Airplane today. "White Rabbit." And then I thought, "How come no one has written a song parody about Barry Bonds to the tune of 'White Rabbit'?"
"Go ask Barry, when his head is ten feet tall."