Artists Christo and Jeanne-Claude are celebrating the city with their creation of "The Gates" in Central Park. "The Gates" consist of 7,500 gates draped in saffron curtains. It stretches 23 miles. We asked them if they would like to be on the show. Their response: "We are appalled that you would call and offer this invitation on such short notice." They added, "You don't understand how much we are in demand right now." Dave says to that, "No, I don't."
Paul says he saw "The Gates" earlier today from 5th Avenue. He also saw Frank Gifford perusing the art. What did Frank think? Says Paul, "He was appalled."

Will we get Christo and Jeanne-Claude on the show? It remains to be seen. You know, it's funny. Many of their works around the world have been met with much objection and resistance, whether it be "The Gates" or umbrellas, or wrapping great buildings in a giant sheet. Yet, they persevere. They don't always understand the objections. They consider the struggle to achieve their goal part of their art. Now it seems the tables have turned. They are in the position to say yes or no to art, and their immediate reaction is NO. We want them to agree to something and they object and resist. Give them the power and they are just like anybody else.

As a new dad, one of Dave's many joys is reading to his son Harry. He picked up an interesting and timely, yet questionable book just this morning. It's entitled, "Clifford the Big Red Dog on Steroids." Dave holds up the book. And also on the cover is Emily Elizabeth.

The FDA is responding to all the drugs that were approved for consumption but have now been taken off the market due to possible dangerous side effects. Turns out the only thing the FDA will recommend for whatever ails you is Vicks Vaporub.

GEORGE W. BUSH TALKS DIRTY: "Watch your assets grow."

GRAMMY AWARDS QUIZ: The Grammy Awards were Sunday night. We sent a camera crew to take in the sights. Some of my favorites:
(an uninteresting couple) - "This man is telling his companion:
A) "This is a good spot for watching celebrities"
B) "I hope I can talk to some agents"
C) "I think we're here on the wrong day for the Actuary Convention"

(old woman) - "Here we see:
A) a fold music producer
B) a classical artist
C) Madonna on her way to makeup

(MC Hammer) - "MC Hammer is at the Grammys because he:
A) produced Usher
B) choreographed Usher
C) Is an usher

(guy in white tie) - "One look at this man and you can tell:
A) The tuxedo: Armani
B) The shirt: Barneys
C) The hair: Trump.

TOP TEN: Secrets to Winning the Westminster Kennel Club Dog Show Last night at the 129th Westminster Kennel Club Dog Show in the Madison Square Garden, a German Shorthaired Pointer named Carlee was named "Best In Show."
Dog: Carlee (female); a German Shorthaired Pointer
- 5 years old; 70 pounds; from Westtown, New York
Handler: Michelle Ostermiller (not sure of her age, weight, or residence)
Ms. Ostermiller was the handler of the Best in Show dog last year and this is her 2nd visit to the Late Show to perform the Top Ten.
- Carlee beat out 2,500 entries to be crowned Best in Show.
- There were 18,000 people in attendance for last night's competition.
#10. When the judge examines your dog, "accidentally" leave a folded twenty tucked in the collar.
#9. For a healthy, lustrous coat, add a raw egg to your toilet water.
#6. Snausages and Red Bull
#5. In case of emergency, always keep a spare dog in your pants.
#1. Ask Jose Canseco for some of that "high powered" kibble

KELLY RIPA: Wowee, she's looking better than ever. Our own Paul Shaffer was recently on her "Hope & Faith" program and she touts that program as being their 3rd highest rated show ever, even trumping the appearance by Regis. Congratulations, Paul!
And how is Regis, Dave wants to know. "Is he eating solid food?" Kelly laughs. Pretending concern, Kelly says she accidentally hip-checked him yesterday and nearly broke parts of his skeleton. Regis whimpered and fell into the fetal position. He carried on a bit much for just a hip-check from a hip chick, but that's Regis for you I guess.
Kelly says she rarely socializes with Regis outside the show but recently then each went to the same Caribbean island on vacation. Kelly had gone to this particular island before and spoke highly of it. Regis was looking for someplace new to go and took Kelly up on the recommendation. Kelly was there with her family for a few days and the weather was absolutely beautiful. She knew Regis would be coming down but was not sure when. One morning she woke and looked out her window and the rain was coming down so hard it was falling sideways. It was an unbelievable storm. One look and she knew: "He's arrived."
Kelly was also the guest at two powerful weddings of recent past. She went to the Star Jones wedding and then to the Donald Trump wedding. Doing the dirty work for Katie Couric, Kelly took some video pictures with Katie's pocketbook. Or is it a purse? Anyway, there was a video camera hidden inside and Katie wanted a shot of Shaquille O'Neal. Since Kelly had a better angle, Katie passed it back to her for her to operate the camera.
Kelly didn't say this but for the wedding I heard Donald Trump was registered at Sy Sperling.
Kelly Ripa - you can see her on the "Live with Regis and Kelly" program as well as ABC's "Hope and Faith." Check your local listings.

As a service to our younger viewers, Dave is proud to debut a brand new educational segment. It's entitled, PAT FARMER GIVES AWAY THE ENDINGS TO HISTORICAL BIOGRAPHIES.
The scrim rises and we find Pat relaxing in a chair. A lamp offers him light.
Pat: "Good evening. Tonight, I will be giving away the ending to David McCullough's Pulitzer Prize-winning biography of John Adams."
(Pat thumbs through the book, stopping near the last page.)
Pat: "Adams dies."
Announce: "This has been 'Pat Farmer Gives Away the Endings to Historical Biographies.' Back to you, Dave."

ACT 5: It's time for Christo and Jeanne-Claude's appearance update.
Christo and Jeanne-Claude will be appearing tomorrow, February 17th on the Tony Danza Show.
Then later that afternoon you can find them at the Applebee's on Broadway.
Then Friday, catch up with Christo and Jeanne-Claude at the Paramus Mall, where rumor has it they'll be draping something in fabric.
And all next week, they'll be celebrity bartenders at "Perfect Tommy's" in New Rochelle, New York.
But they won't be appearing on the Late Show.
We'll be right back.

TAYE DIGGS: He's on UPN's "Kevin Hill." I think he's Kevin. Taye was last here as a guest on the Luke Wilson guest hosted show two years ago.
If you're keeping score at home, Taye was born "Scott." A family member nicknamed him "Scott-tay" which then was shortened to "Tay.
Taye's mom, after having raised 5 kids, is about to earn a PhD in Drama. Heck, after 5 kids, that should be a breeze. Does she give Taye any acting advice? Nope. And she's not the type to get too excited over things. Taye had her initials tattooed onto his arm. It'll be there for the rest of his life. His mom's reaction wasn't much more than, "Oh, that's nice."
Appearing on the Late Show and starring in "Kevin Hill" is quite an accomplishment, but I have a feeling Taye's greatest highlight of his career was performing in Sebastian's Caribbean Carnival" in Japan. His job was to get the audience to join him in singing, "Day-O" in Japanese. We see a clip of this performance. Don't laugh. It got him to Tokyo.
"Kevin Hill" - Wednesday's at 9:00 on the UPN.

And that was our show for Wednesday, February 16, 2005. Wahoo EXTRA!

I'm doing some quick research on the Grammy Awards and their website declares "The ceremony is telecast annually to a potential worldwide audience of more than 650 million."
Wow! 650 million people watch the Grammys! No, of course not. The potential worldwide audience is 650 million. POTENTIAL. The potential audience. What exactly does that mean? Clever write-up.
I also read where the Grammys had 105 categories. From what I read in the newspapers, there were more categories than viewers.

It's official. The NHL hockey league has called off the season. By the way, this is the first time since 1997 that the New York Rangers have made it this far into February before being eliminated from the playoffs.

I watched a bit of the "American Idol" last night. This is what I look for while viewing: when sitting at their table, Simon, Paula and Randy always have their red Coca-Cola glasses facing with the logo out towards the camera. The other celebrity judges do not. They have them facing this way and that. Simon, Paul, and Randy really know what they are doing with the product placement. They're professionals all the way. Good work.

From Mike Henderson of East Windsor, New Jersey:

"I walked up to the Park at lunch yesterday to see the Gates, and I'm more with the 'ooh and ahh' crowd. Not because I found any great meaning or enlightenment from the gates, but because of the way they added unexpected color to a winter landscape with very little color. I also liked how the gates really emphasized the contours in the parks, going up hills, and down valleys, around lakes, etc."

And I decided to renew my license on Tuesday. It expires Monday. My girls have off that week and I figure I can leave the house real early before they get up and get to the head of the line at the DMV. I'll have more on my thrilling trip to the DMV on Tuesday.

The Wahoo Gazette: It's right a lot of the time!