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Monday, May 19, 2008

Top Ten Surprises in the New Osama bin Laden Audio Tape
 Top Ten   
The tape begins with, "Jihad, Jihad, 1, 2, 3...Jihad, Jihad, 1, 2, 3..."
Kept promoting weekly iTunes terror podcasts
Went nuts on caller who said Joe Girardi's doing a good job
He's a little pitchy, dawg
It's just an infomercial for his new "Lean, Mean Goat Grillin' Machine"
Complains "Grey's Anatomy" has totally "jumped the shark"
He's interrupted three times by the blind sheik yelling, "Baba Booey!"
Background noise suggests he's clearly at a bowling alley
Announced his engagement to Star Jones
Even he can't believe Bush hasn't caught him
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Ended speech with "Death to America, but mad love to 'Ugly Betty' hottie, America Ferrara!"

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Revealed his secret location: the Cheesecake Factory in Wayne, New Jersey

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Endorsed Ralph Nader for president

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It was ten minutes of beard delousing tips

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Ended speech with "Bin Laden out!"

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