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Tuesday, June 20, 2006

Top Ten Signs New York City Is Becoming More Polite
  
After selling a hot dog, vendors share helpful food poisoning remedies
Batteries thrown by New York Yankees fans are the environmentally-friendly rechargeable kind
Whenever you step off a city bus, the driver gives you a friendly pat on the ass
Muggers say, "May I?" before gutting you like a carp
Cab drivers no longer curse and give the finger at the same time
Two words: complimentary rats
"Thank you" always follows, "Do as I say and no one gets hurt"
"We're sorry" is printed on every Knicks ticket
Number of motorists who stop at red lights is up to 8%
People are now greeting me with, "Go screw yourself, Mr. Letterman"
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Sorry, no Top ten extras tonight!

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